I Bought the DIRTIEST Car Ever Today

"Jay Lauer" (thefaultinourcars)
11/05/2014 at 22:35 • Filed to: None

It's pretty common when buying cars on the very cheap that they're dirty. When it gets to the point that a head gasket or an engine's blown, the owner just gives up all of his fucks about the car and you just buy it "as is."

Over the years, I've just become accustomed to having to run the gauntlet of super heavy duty deep cleans after every purchase. My S2000 was finally the first car ever that somebody bothered to clean before my taking ownership, and I felt maybe a new day had come upon me. Maybe no more would 'dirty' and 'mechanical broken' have to go synonymously.

I was wrong.

Before anyone pipes in, of course I bring this upon myself. This is simply what I have to do or put up with to make my profit. Now, that the deal's done and I own the car, I'm just surprised at the nonexistent amount of fucks one would have to list a car covered in dirt on Craigslist. It seems almost like a deterrent for interested parties.

So we'll see in the next couple of days what the car I bought actually looks like. Could be a Saturn Relay or a Honda Civic, who knows. Could be a Renault Clio or a GMC Jimmy. Could be a Chevelle SS or a Honda Insight. Could be another S2000 or another GTO. Could be the STi I've been wanting to buy for a couple months now. Could be another BMW and I haven't learned a damn thing.

DISCUSSION (15)

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 22:38

It's the STi.

 > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 22:39

Did you buy a cab?

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro
11/05/2014 at 22:46

Nah, I won't do that til the S2000's gone.

Jay Lauer >
11/05/2014 at 22:47

Haha that's a actually a really good guess. But nope, no Panther for me.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 22:47

aw man. I really want you to get that STi.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 22:49

It's a Geo.

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro
11/05/2014 at 22:51

Thanks man, I really want one too.

I drove the Honda yesterday for the first time in a couple weeks. I keep forgetting how good that little car really is. I'm starting to not mind keeping it through the winter as much.

If a blown turbo/head gasket/rod knock STi comes along though, I'm buying that thing quicker than ApplePay

Jay Lauer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
11/05/2014 at 22:52

For the Geo Storm pun? not bad, but no.

I value my dignity too much to own a Geo. I at least have a beater Saturn.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 22:52

BUT PRIUS MPG WITHOUT OWNING A PRIUS

Jay Lauer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
11/05/2014 at 22:57

TDI for that, yo. or CRX, yo.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 22:59

TDI sure, but finding a stock CRX, that's impossible. Especially finding an HF, which is the one that got the best mileage.

Vicente Esteve > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 23:01

Jay Lauer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
11/05/2014 at 23:08

I found a CRX Si once that was bone stock for $1500, but it sold so damn quickly. I was ready to buy it after class one night, but it was already gone.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 23:10

And now it is Hellafail on stretched 175 tires.

Birddog > Jay Lauer
11/05/2014 at 23:30

Murilee Martin has a theory on air freshener quantity playing a part in this.

Were there any "Little Trees" hanging from the mirror?

When I bought my T-Bird there were 3 Trees on the rearview mirror. That would indicate a crusher bound destiny. The interior was filthy in the CL ad and when I picked it up, no joke, the guy and his "girl" needed 20 minutes to gather their junk..

I'm probably going to make about $20 in scrap off of all the wires they left behind from a hacked "system". So.. That's something.